i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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