You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize