this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
