Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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