So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
