Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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