sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
