ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
