she takes plan B like it's going out of style
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We need to get me chipped asap
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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