you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
