You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
