don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
