She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
