My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
