I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
