do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
