so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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