Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
