It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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