Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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