Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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