Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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