I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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