I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
