there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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