Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
