1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
MIDGETS
????
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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