I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
