evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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