and i looked up. we had an audience...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
