My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize