Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
