Reggie can tackle my bush.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
