thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
