Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Too much gin, very little bucket
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
