Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
