No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
