you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
