You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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