Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
