Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
