I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
