My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize