meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
