I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
