Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
