All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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