i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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