Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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