I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You can't motorboat a personality
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
