did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Dick very happy bro
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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