I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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