farters have to be the big spoon...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize