You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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