How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
