She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
