They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
