This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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