He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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