and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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