I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
